LAPD, FBI And CIA
The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling, "Okay, okay, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit!"
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
This happened to a mate of mine while at uni
He lived in a student house with a bunch of psychos. The house was always a left like it had been in several earthquakes, and one of the guys he lived with hated this. So one day he decided to go into my mates room with a dinner plate, clear a space in the middle of the floor, drop trou, squeeze out a cleveland steamer on the plate and place the plate on the floor.
One of the other factors in this tale is that it was the height of summer and the windows never opened in his room.
Therefore on my mates return his room smelt like medieval sewer.
The moral of the story; tidy your room or people will shit in it!
One of the other factors in this tale is that it was the height of summer and the windows never opened in his room.
Therefore on my mates return his room smelt like medieval sewer.
The moral of the story; tidy your room or people will shit in it!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Washing the Dog
Washing the Dog
An eight-year-old boy went into a shop and picked out a large box of washing powder. The shopkeeper asked him if he had a lot of washing to do.
"Oh, no," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog."
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog," said the shopkeeper. "It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick.In fact, it might even kill him."But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the washing powder to the counter and paid for it.
A week later, the boy was back in the store to buy some sweets. The shopkeeper asked the boy how his dog was doing.
"Oh, he died," the boy said.
The shopkeeper said he was sorry, but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog."
"Well, the boy replied, "I don't think it was the washing powder that killed him."
"Oh? What was it then?"
"I think it was the spin cycle!"
An eight-year-old boy went into a shop and picked out a large box of washing powder. The shopkeeper asked him if he had a lot of washing to do.
"Oh, no," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog."
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog," said the shopkeeper. "It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick.In fact, it might even kill him."But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the washing powder to the counter and paid for it.
A week later, the boy was back in the store to buy some sweets. The shopkeeper asked the boy how his dog was doing.
"Oh, he died," the boy said.
The shopkeeper said he was sorry, but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog."
"Well, the boy replied, "I don't think it was the washing powder that killed him."
"Oh? What was it then?"
"I think it was the spin cycle!"
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